Just Being Real. Jesus and Muskoka Chairs.

You know, just being real: sometimes, in the presence of an expert, I can fade into feeling dumb and less than. Last January I walked out of the tech shop of a local music store, and I didn’t feel very smart. I was only on a scouting mission for a project, but I wanted to crawl out of the store in a cloak of invisibility. Maybe you can relate.

It was already a stretch for me to go on this search, never mind going it alone, on the little bit of nothing that I actually knew. A nearby customer rolled his eyes and chuckled whenever I asked a question. For real. Did I mention already that I wanted to sink into the floor?

Just Being Real With God

I asked God whether I should just walk out or keep asking my dumb questions. In my head I was thinking: this is why people do research on the internet first. We look smarter when we show up with answers!

Suddenly God interrupted my processing, while slowly and surely His thought came into my mind, “Jenn, why on earth are you letting people you don’t even know define your worth and identity? And make you feel less than. Who do I say you are?”

Well, I knew that God thought I was a lot more valuable than I was feeling. But I didn’t quite know how to make that shift right there in the moment. I was already blushing, sweating, and not quite sure why I was there anymore. How could I just snap out of this dilemma?? Come Holy Spirit.

 Like a slow leak in a balloon, my urge to run out of the store began to deflate. I still felt a little less than, but at least now I was remembering what Jesus thought about me. So valuable. I breathed a little deeper and let the store guy keep talking.

So, I let Jesus talk me through my weak, less-than moment. My visible hug from God came when I walked out the back door of the store to my car. I lifted up my eyes to the night sky and sighed, thank you Lord that You get me, I am enough, I am so grateful.

Just Being Thankful

And God had this surprise for me, like a hug. Across the dark parking lot, a Muskoka chair had been pushed up against a bright third story window. And if I hadn’t lifted my eyes to give thanks, I couldn’t have seen it.

I pulled my phone out to take a picture, and realized that the window wrapped around to the other side of the building, and there was a second chair, pulled up snug, next to it.

What was the significance? I had just done a spiritual exercise as ministry training for an upcoming conference at our church. We had paper and crayons and were encouraged to be creative and draw, write, or express something that had us feeling stuck in our lives – a lie that we were believing.

Being real. Being with Jesus!

I spent some quiet time, reflecting and praying. Just being real with myself and God. I realized that I had been living with the underlying assumption that the biggest hardest tasks in life are things that I must do by myself. Alone. In my mind I could see a frothy grey, wave tossed ocean, and I was floundering and exhausted.

The next step in the exercise encouraged us to find a safe place in the scene. For me in my scene, it was a small, scuffed boat. Like a one-person kayak. When the question was posed “where do you see Jesus in your safe space?” I thought, “Shoot. This boat is too small and there’s no room for Jesus in my boat!”

Then I felt this inner nudge in my heart to ‘make space for Him’. So I did. I invited Him to expand the space. Immediately there was a glistening wooden deck on the boat, large enough for two chairs with room to spare. I felt Jesus sitting next to me – and in my mind’s eye I saw two bright red Muskoka chairs, on a gleaming boat deck, overlooking tranquil turquoise water. Peaceful. At rest.

Muskoka Chairs and Jesus

By seeing those chairs I realized again, that I am not alone. I don’t have to re-invent the wheel all by myself. Jesus is right next to me, shoulder to shoulder. He supports me through every situation that I find myself in. We are together and I am immersed in His peace.

And with this atmosphere I can be at ease anywhere because I trust that Jesus is in this with me. He has all the answers and help that I need. His truth trumps all lies and misconceptions in my mind.

In the tech shop I was reaching for that atmosphere and the Presence of Jesus. And He had met me there. I was able to navigate the difficult, and after it was over, He reinforced what He had done in my heart by showing me this sign of two red Muskoka chairs, side by side – just like my prayer encounter picture.

That atmosphere of supportive friendship with Jesus is always present. His atmosphere is released on the inside of us because we are raised up with Him into new Life, and seated with Him. Everything that He is and all that He has becomes ours. He never tires of giving us proof that He is with us, at work on our behalf, loving us deeply.

 “God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6)

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20b).

Doing life with Jesus right next to us. Valuable. Loved. Enough.

May the love of Christ keep you, and fill you!

Jenn

[Portions of this blog post can be found in Day 6 of my soon to be published devotional: Hope Breaks Through: Discovering God’s Signs in Your Life.]

PS. Keep your eyes and ears open for the release of my new book: Hope Breaks Through: Discovering God’s Signs in Your Life. It can be a self-directed or a 30 day journey to uncover personal signs from God for healing, direction and transformation. Details for book purchases will be available here: in Resources & Updates.

Copyright (c) 2020 Jennifer Bryant-Choong. All Rights Reserved